anonymous report:

"Robert Memmott is a Director of HLS Custom's Clearance company Servisair. He lives at:
29 Stonyhurst Crescent, Culceth, Warrington, Cheshire, WA3 4DN.

We thought we would treat him to an early bit of trick or treating. We decided to go for a treat - after all, this was our first visit. Paint stripper over his nice garage doors, we took his shoes for a special cleaning service (sorry Bob, we couldn't get them back out of the canal). Oh, and we left your pram this time (albeit in a bush), after all it was a treat. Next time you get your trick - looking forward to it Bob? We are.

Give Bob a call on 01925 765 852. Rumour has it he likes heavy breathing. What a perv you are Bobby.

ALF Tupper"